Where did the day go?

Once again, I am derelict in my blogging duties. I've already received two backchannel emails asking if everything is okay, and neither was from my mom. Sorry if I worried anyone, but yesterday was pretty uneventful as far as Frankie is concerned. Anna, Joann and I went up to the NICU around noon and sat by his side until 5, when they kicked us out. I've become more accustomed to the tangle of transparent tubes and monofilament-thin sensor wires that criss-cross Frankie's body. I'm inured to the cacaphony of buzzing, whirring, beeping machines. Each of the half-dozen babies in this single-room branch of the NICU is hooked up to some combination of heart and lung monitor, ventilator, IV and catheter pumps, and other unidentifiable medical devices, all of which produce a unique amalgam of sounds without regard for harmony or melody. Even this discordant symphony has faded to thin, white noise; background sounds drowned out by my concern for Frankie and his mom. Anna is still getting used to the sight of her son under heavy sedation and constant mechanical surveillance, but by the time we left, she was in better spirits than I've seen in a while. She was even up for a well-earned Mexican martini at Curra's, her first since finding out about the pregnancy (and yes, we threw away the tiny bit of milk she expressed afterwards). We've still got a long way to go, and there are still moments of doubt and anger, but we both know everything will be alright in the end, and that certainty helps.


Anonymous silverzephyr said...

A note: My Mom (Joann) also had a well-deserved margarita, which was accompanied by a very detailed description of her Vegas experience at Chippendales last month.

I know everyone hears from me much less on the blog. I do preapprove most of Dave's posts before they go out. I am doing well in general, with moments of anger, depression and uncertainty that can be expected. Everything is driven by an overwhelming sense of love and responsibility for a tiny little person that I have yet to hold. I think that when that moment comes and we are able to bond, things will be alot better.

9:23 AM  
Blogger dirtyweekender said...

In the meantime, I'm sure the kitties were happy to have their Mom back at home. Malcolm's like, 'Where did the bump go? It was so nice to drape over.'

9:55 AM  
Blogger MommaS said...

Isn't it amazing that you can be so in love with a little person you only just met? You have every reason to feel the anger, depression and uncertainty, but allow yourself to feel the joy, elation and love that your boy is doing so well. He is loved. Even by those of us who have only seen pictures. Krissy told me he looks like Dave, but I think he's MUCH cuter!


11:19 AM  
Anonymous Ron Greene said...

As we prepare to visit Bulgaria to introduce me and Svetlana to the Keremidchiev/a (you get the a if you are a woman) family, we wanted to send out our best to all one more time, and look forward to hearing about Frankie's trip home from the hospital. IN the spirit of mary tyler moore: "love is all around"
Ron, Z, and Svetlana

2:59 PM  

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