Snip! Snip!
Frankie and his parents have had a rough week. Last Tuesday (the 29th), we took him to Seton Northwest for the laser treatment on his skin hemangioma. We got there at 6am and, sleepy but anxious, waited for our turn in the still dark lobby. There were two others in front of us – another baby and a small child. We talked to numerous nurses who asked us the same series of questions over and over, a checks and balances system that we actual appreciate, an anesthesiologist and the doctor before handing him over. We were not allowed to be in the room while the treatment was performed. After the laser treatment, Frankie’s shoulder looked, in a word, awful. It broke up the large scab that had formed and oozed blood and other nastiness. It was (and still is) shocking to see. I called the doctor’s office, panicked at its appearance, but they assured us it was behaving as they’d expected.
The intention of the laser was to keep the hemangioma from spreading – the doctor doesn’t want to remove any more than he already has to when the time comes. We have to re-bandage what is now a large open wound twice (or more) a day, keeping it as clean as possible. There have been some terrible instances when the bandage sticks to the wound and blood spurts out when it is removed – an incident which resulted in my (and Frankie’s) freak out on Saturday night. I was terrified that I’d done what we have always feared -- broken a capillary – and that a trip to the hospital was necessary. Luckily, Grandpa Frank was there to help and assured me that it was just the scab and we just needed to stop the bleeding and all would be fine (it was).
Frankie was circumcised yesterday. The surgeon that performed his TEF repair, Dr. Josephs, did the work at Children’s Hospital. It was another early morning with a 6:30am arrival time and a lot of pre-surgery prep (nurses, anesthesiologist, etc…) and a very cranky Frankie (we were not allowed to feed him after 1am). But there is nothing like a trip to Children’s Hospital to change your perspective about your own child’s difficulties. In the waiting room, we saw kids with more far more serious problems than Frankie. Several had obvious neurological disorders, flitting about the room unable to focus, some were in wheelchairs, others stared blankly into space. We were reminded that dealing with a problem like a skin hemangioma does not compare with the challenges other parents in that room were facing. Frankie will get better – many of these kids will never be normal.
We considered the risks and benefits of circumcision and, believe me, heard many a lecture on the cons (ironically, from people who did not actually have children). In the end, we decided that there were enough risks related to “keeping it clean” to have the procedure done in addition to the “traditional” aspect. I’ve heard many folks argue that circumcision should not happen because it is not a “religious tradition”; it is, however, is a secular American tradition. I guess I cringe at the idea of little Frankie being made fun of by goons in the locker room.
This morning, Dave reports that Frankie is cheerful and happy, so yesterday is perhaps a distant memory. We hope that all of these doctors visits and hospital trips will be as well.
8 Comments:
We are very lucky, indeed, and it's hard to believe the most difficult first year is almost half way over. We sure wish we lived closer so we could be more help because you and Dave must be so exhausted but hang in there. You're both doing such a great job; we're so proud of you. Don't hesitate to call when you need Grandpa Frank. He loves getting to hold Frankie (and I'm SO jealous).
Clearly, we feel absolutely no benefit from having Frankie feel pain. I'm a little surprised that would be suggested. We are not evil beings out to torture our child.
Here are some medical reasons for circumcision:
-Circumcision lowers your son’s chances of getting a urinary tract infection (UTI) in the first year of life.
-Although a rare condition, cancer of the penis is essentially eliminated in circumcised males.
-Research shows that males who are circumcised have a slightly lower risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
-Circumcision eliminates foreskin infection that occur at the peak ages of 3 to 5 years.
-Circumcision prevents phimosis, a narrow opening that makes it impossible to retract the foreskin at a later age.
-Genital hygiene, which is particularly important in unsanitary conditions, may be easier after circumcision.
Anna lays out the medical case for circumcision,but here are a few more things to consider:
The physical pain of the operation seems far outweighed by the potential psychological scarring that might result from mom or dad having to retract the foreskin and scrub the little man's little man until he reaches the age of 7 or 8, or however old boys are when they master the tasks of personal hygeine.
As for the lasting effects of the physical pain, Frankie's surgery was Monday morning, and he already seems oblivious to the whole incident. He's been smiling and playing all day today. If he's traumatized, he ain't showing it.
And for those who subscribe to the theory that procedures like circumcision have lasting negative effects, what about the pain from immunizations, or the surgical repair of a tracheoesophageal fistula and esophageal atresia, or the laser treatment on a hemangioma? And if the memories of these "traumas" are carried into childhood and beyond, what of the myriad cuts, scrapes and bruises that are an inevitable part of growing up? Might as well lock the kid in plastic bubble until he hits puberty.
Finally, consider one possible alternative: my grandfather was uncircumcised - until the age of 70, when an infection forced him to undergo the procedure. Having witnessed the after-effects of both operations, I can assure you that Frankie is a helluva lot less bothered by it than Grandpa was.
Don’t have time to do to much searching right now, but here’s some info I found earlier about circumcision lowering the risk of AIDS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/background_briefings/aids/434880.stm
Of course, for almost any study it seems, there are counter studies and different evidence. You have to eight the total amount of evidence and make your choice, factoring in anecdotal evidence from friends and family.
I think it’s important to consider that in the 60’s and maybe into the 70’s infant pain treatment was much different than it is today. Doctors would perform major surgery without anesthesia because they did not think babies could feel pain. Clearly, that has changed. I felt pretty comfortable visiting with the anesthesiologist and discussing how they were going to make sure that Frankie did not experience pain during the procedure. There has been no bleeding and tonight we will bath him and the glue and other leftover stuff will dissolve. If he’s felt lasting, excruciating pain, trust me, we would know.
I do realize that other folk think that it’s some sort of FOX News-esque Republican move on our behalf, but I just don’t feel that way. And as someone who was routinely tortured in junior high school for their weight, did it make me a leader? Did it make me smarter? No. A good education and supportive parents did that. What it did give me is a life long complex about my weight. Hooray.
I love that people who don't have children have such strong opinions about what they would do with them if they DID. My daddy died October 14th of this year, but if he were around, he would give you a first-hand opinion as to why he WISHED to hell his mother had him circumcised so he didn't go thru a year of hell before he finally gave in and had it done at 70 years of age. He did, however, have a sense of humor about it and ask the Doctor to use "pinking shears" to make it look cute! I'm with Shelee. Your mother should have told you "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". Dave and Anna have plenty of guilt about what's happening to Frankie without your help. (Sorry, Dave, a "mom" can only read so much without defending her kids, or her own action when she made the decision to "mutilate" you as an infant.) I probably made a lot of mistakes as a parent, but circumcision isn't one I EVER worry about and neither should you. Lots of Love, Mom
I only wish I could post for you all the phone message Shelee left for me on Friday. I never laughed so hard in my life!
I had better post something new so we can all stop talking about Frankie's penis.
Oh, and I must add that "bobdobbs" is a friend of ours and I've met him a few times and can assure you that he is perfectly nice, though apparently hung up on foreskin. Debaters are argumentative folk and often agressively so. I'm not sure they always understand that others are no so willing to argue like that and might be offended by their approach.
no fighting, no biting!
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