8.05.2005

Point of Clarification

I'd just like everyone to know that there's no need to talk me down from the ledge. Not that I don't appreciate all of the concern and kind words of encouragement (especially yours, Yuri - the dirt's rubbed on and I'm ready to play ball), but things here are not nearly as bleak as I perhaps made them out to be. The real point of yesterday's post was that I needed to temper my optimism so that Anna wouldn't feel quite so alone in her darker moments. I thought that if I could present an image of unshakable confidence I could buoy Anna's spirits. It's the classic masculine pose, the socially-sanctioned stereotype of the Good Father. I would be her rock, and she could count on me for support no matter how bleak things seemed. But as I probably should've been smart enough to figure out beforehand, it doesn't work like that. There's only so much boundless optimism one can take before you begin to feel like there must be something wrong with you for feeling otherwise. Sure, it's good to be supportive, and hopeful, but Anna also needs to know that she's not crazy for feeling the way she does. Yeah, it's good to be strong, but a little vulnerability is what makes us human. It also gives Anna an occasional opportunity to be strong for me, which is something she needs as much, if not more than, my unwavering support. So really, don't worry about me. I'm still very optimistic, and Frankie continues to do better than expected. And Anna's not nearly as fragile as I've made her out to be. In fact, she's doing amazingly well considering everything she's going through at the moment. I couldn't be prouder, or more in love.

4 Comments:

Anonymous You know who said...

Whomever wrote that they loved the honesty of your blog speaks for all of us who love you both so much but are powerless to change anything. In the words of a special two-year old, "just let 'er worry" and know that we know you're both really okay and that this is all just temporary, crappy as it feels sometimes (but we can't help worrying). Much love,

6:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you need to watch a little less Dr. Phil. Please resume the classic masculine pose before I throw up.

9:56 AM  
Blogger swamp4me said...

You didn't sound like a jumper and you didn't make Anna sound fragile. :) You just sound like new parents -- normal, new parents.

Rock on.

2:56 PM  
Anonymous Colton & etc Grandma said...

Welcome to the world of "parenthood"...you worry about your offsprings for the rest of your life, no matter how old they get. Frankie is very lucky to have both of you! The pics are great...keep'em coming!)

7:45 AM  

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